How Did Hagrid's Parents Do It?
by KlutzyDoraLupin
Summary: James Sirius Potter was the first child Hagrid encountered at Hogwarts that had the guts to ask him how his parents, an average sized Wizard and a humongous Giantess, conceived him. - Rated T for suggestive adult themes


_**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Harry Potter**_

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 _ **Author's Note: I wrote a headcanon that roughly describes this scenario and decided to actually write it out as a small oneshot. I originally only posted it to Tumblr, but hopefully it'll get more traffic here and people will share it and make me feel all happy lol. Hope you enjoy :)**_

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 _From a young age, James Sirius Potter was always asking as many questions as he could. He had to know everything about everything; from asking anyone who would listen why the many plants his Uncle Neville gifted him were specific colors, to bombarding his family with questions about how exactly were wands made and why did they choose their owners._

" _Where does magic come from, Daddy?" He would ask curiously, at the tender age of five, as he watched his godfather, Ron, make all the toys in the room come to life and dance for him._

" _Why can't all Muggles know what we are, Aunt Hermione?" He would ask, confused, at the young age of ten, as he watched his mother modify a Muggle's memories; the frightened woman witnessed a bit of his & his cousins' accidental magic._

" _When is my Hogwarts letter getting here?!" He would ask both his parents eagerly, at least five times a day, after he turned eleven._

" _What House do you think I'll be sorted into?" He would ask his older cousins, slightly scared, as they shared a compartment on the train heading to Hogwarts._

 _Through the years, he excelled in school for asking as many questions as he could. His teachers loved him because he just had to know everything about everything._

 _But there was one question he dared not ask throughout his first five years in school, fearing that he'd offend one of his father's greatest friends._

 _He knew Rubeus Hagrid his whole life._

 _His parents would always invite him over for tea and supper during the holidays and Hagrid, too, would invite them over to Hogsmeade to meet him for a Butterbeer._

 _James' favorite times with Hagrid were when he, Hagrid, would ask Harry & Ginny if he could take James, Albus, and Lily out to Honeydukes._

 _James loved Hagrid dearly, regarded him as an uncle even._

 _But there was always just_ _ **one**_ _burning question he wanted so badly to ask._

 _It wasn't until one night, in his sixth year, that he finally asked Hagrid..._

 _James and his cousin Rose had snuck out of their dormitories, much like their parents always did; just to see their Uncle Hagrid._

 _And just like those old times, Hagrid delved into so many stories for the young Potter and Weasley to hear._

 _He started out with telling the story of how Harry and Hermione had helped him sneak out his pet dragon, one of his favorite stories now._

 _As the night progressed, James became more and more curious as Hagrid began talking about his wizard father and giantess mother._

 _Finally, James sipped his tea, steeling himself as he prepared to ask Hagrid the question he'd been dying to ask for years._

 _As Hagrid concluded one of his stories about how his father had taken him to Diagon Alley, James seized the opportunity and cleared his throat._

" _Uncle Hagrid, don't take this the wrong way or anything." He began, watching as the half-giant nodded, signaling for him to go on, "But...how exactly...well..." He stopped, not knowing how to word it without sounding like an intrusive prat_

 _Rose was watching him as if his hair changed colors like Teddy's. She never saw her cousin stutter and become all flustered the way he was now._

" _Ah, go on, James. Yeh already started." Hagrid urged, his own curiosity peaked._

 _James took a deep breath and sighed, "Okay, so...How exactly did you come to be? I mean it's a bit awkward to think of a Wizard and a Giantess having a child. So, forgive my language, but how the hell were you even conceived?"_

 _At that, Rose choked on the tea she had been drinking and Hagrid just about shattered his cup to dust._

" _I'm sorry! I told you not to take it the wrong way! I'm just curious! I didn't mean to offend you or anything!" James apologized immediately._

" _Honestly, James, that's none of our business! How rude to even think to ask!" Rose chided him, reminding Hagrid of her mother._

" _Now, it's all right, Rosie. Yeh'd be mad not to wonder." Hagrid chuckled, "Yeh just took me by surprise is all, James." He comforted James, as they all visibly relaxed. "Yeh lot are old enough, I s'pose."_

 _Rose was still glaring at her cousin, discreetly of course, but James didn't care. He was more interested in the fact that Hagrid, instead of changing the subject and scolding him, explained to them just how he was conceived._

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 _By the night's end, Hagrid couldn't stop laughing at their faces, while James and Rose retreated to their dormitories, completely mortified at the stuff Hagrid had just told them._

 _"I hate you so much, James Sirius Potter." Rose snarled at her cousin before pushing him away from her and stalking toward the castle in earnest, "I'm scarred for life, thank you very much."  
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 _James cried out in protest as he was pushed away from the concealment the invisibility cloak offered. He waited until Rose stormed back and covered him before shoved his cousin in retaliation, "Hey, I had to listen to it, too."_

 _Scoffing, Rose glared at him, "_ You _were the one who brought it up! Next time your curiosity peaks, keep your wretched mouth shut!"_

 _He bit his tongue as they kept shoving each other lightly, keeping under the cloak. The old saying 'Curiosity killed the cat' surely rang true for the two cousins; James' curiosity surely got them killed them deep inside as they listened to Hagrid describe exactly what Wizards and Giantesses did to conceive children._


End file.
